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Home  » » Funny Redneck Jokes: Part 9

Posted on: 06-29-2013

You Might Be A Redneck If..

You bought a VCR/DVR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
You're afraid to wash your car because it may stop running.
You've had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
The most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection
The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass.
You use the term `over yonder' more than once a month.
You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.
Every socket in your house breaks a fire code.
You own at least 20 baseball hats.
Someone asks to see your marriage license, and you have to dig through the floorboard of your GTO.
Your Junior/Senior Prom had daycare.
All the back pockets in your pants have circular holes.
Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
When you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Beurau of Alcohol Tobbaco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can loose them or not.
The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute".
Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.