Home  » » Funny Redneck Jokes: Part 8

Posted on: 07-29-2013

You Might Be A Redneck If..

Your mother has gotten into a fistfight at a high school sports event.
You cash your checks at the local liquor store.
Your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mudflaps.
You only have pants with a boot cut.
You've been on TV more than five times describing what the tornado sounded like.
You painted racing flames on the John Deere.
You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
You fish in your above-ground pool, especially if you catch something!
Yer mom calls ya over t'help, cause she has a flat tire...on her house.
Your richess relative invites you over to his new home to help remove the wheels and install the skirt.
You ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.
You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida.
You call your sister, "Dear."
Your wife's best pair of shoes are steel-toed Red Wings.
Your car has been towed more than twice as an abandoned vehicle.
You're moved to tears everytime you hear Dolly Parton singing "I Will Always Love You".
Your girl wears a dress that is strapless and a bra that is not.
You've painted a car with house paint.
You wake up with both a black eye and a hickey.
You walk your dog and you both use the same tree down on the corner.
You saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deerhunting.
There is a stuffed 'possum anywhere in your house.
Your mama can back down a biker.
During your wedding, when you kissed the bride, your John Deere hat fell off.
You're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
Your home has more miles on it than your car.