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Home  » » Funny Redneck Jokes: Part 7

Posted on: 05-29-2013

You Might Be A Redneck If..

Your favorite christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
You have to wash your hands before going to the bathroom.
You have two or more sets of bald tires.
Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job: primer red and primer gray.
You mow your lawn and find a car.
You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
Your truck has a new sunroof because the shotgun fell off the rack when you slammed the door.
On sunday's people stop by to ask if you're having a yard sale and you're not.
You honestly think that women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.
Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".
Someone asks, "where's your bowling bag?" and you answer, "she's at home with the kids."
Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.
You call your boss "Buddy", on a regular basis.
You wear your ball cap when you eat in a restaurant.
You think the best beer is brewed in Milwaukee.
In tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Curly do?".
You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
You look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet `Ms. Right'
Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
You've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.
You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.
You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
When you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
The primary color of your car is "bondo".
Your father fully executes the "pull my finger" gag during Christmas dinner.
You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.