The Best Funny Redneck Jokes
Here is a top collection of the best funny redneck jokes in the world, so if you’ve done any of these things you are most likely a true redneck and shouldn’t joke yourself! If you haven’t finished school or attended a university then you’re already close to being a redneck. Don’t worry though, if you [...]
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1. The monitor is up on blocks. 2. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them. 3. Deer jerky in the desk drawer. 4. The extra RAM slots in your computer have Dodge truck parts installed in them. 5. John Deer pocket protectors left on the desk. 6. Your password has been changed to “Bubba” 7. [...]
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Two rednecks decided that they weren’t going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic. “What’s logic?” the first redneck asked. The professor answered, “Let me give you an example. Do you own [...]
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Two redneck guys go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune. The first day they go fishing, but they don’t catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and [...]
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A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was doing and his brother said, “Don’t worry, everybody is [...]
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Kudzu is green, my dog’s name is Blue And I’m so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like cornsilk, a-flapping in the breeze. Softer than Blue’s and without all them fleas. You move like the bass, which excite me in May. You ain’t got no scales, but I luv you [...]
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“Hello, is this the FBI?” “Yes. What do you want?” “I’m calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood.” “Thank you very much for the call, sir.” The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. [...]
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A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Jackson to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says, “I want my $20 million.” The man replied, “No, sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today and then you’ll get the rest spread out [...]
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OKRA Dec 22 – Jan 20 Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okra have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies! CHITLIN Jan 21 – Feb 19 Chitlins often come from humble [...]
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Redneck comments
Exclamations: “Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!” “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.” Threats: “I’ll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outtastyle.” “This’ll jar your preserves.” “Don’t you be makin’ me open a can o’ whoop-ass on ya!” Good Things/Compliments: “Cute as a sack full of puppies.” “If [...]
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