You Might Be A Redneck If…
You ever used a weedeater indoors.
You have to go outside to get something out of the ‘fridge.
Thanksgiving dinner was ruined because you ran out of ketchup.
You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.
If going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes (if you have them) a jacket and grabbing a flashlight.
You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occassions.
You ever hit a deer with your car… on purpose
Your wife has ever had to ask you to move the car’s radiator so she could take a bath.
Your parakeet knows the phrase “Open up, Police!”.
You have to go down to the creek to take a bath.
You have an Elvis Jell-o mold.
You have the word “howdy” in your answering machine message.
There is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
You buy a case or more of oil a month.
You know which leaves make the best substitute for toilet paper.
Your front porch collapses and more than six dogs are killed.
You are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.
You have one or more rolled vehicles (running or not) in your possession.
You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.
Your house doesn’t have curtains, but your truck does.
The directions to your house include “turn off the paved road”.
You think the stock market is a place to buy hogs.
You have a rag for a gas cap (on a car that does run).
Dressing up is wearing the flannel shirt without any rips in it.
Your sister’s education goal is to get out of high school before she gets pregnant.