You Might Be A Redneck If…
The family business needs a lookout.
You have to honk the horn to get the chickens out of the driveway when you come home.
You have a Hefty bag for a Car/Truck convertable top.
There are enough empty beer cans in your truck that if you turned them all in, you could buy another six-pack.
Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
You wrote in Richard Petty’s name on a presidential ballot.
You’ve been too drunk to fish.
Your truck stalled on the highway and you never went back for it.
You think re-booting your machine refers to kicking the truck tires the second time it won’t start.
The UFO hotline limits you to one call a day
Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since “Smokey and the Bandit” was snubbed for best picture.
You have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get grandma a new plug of tobacco.
You’ve ever had to bum chewing tobacco from your wife.
You participate in the “who can spit tobacco the farthest contest”.
When you take your trash to the dump and you return home with more stuff than you left with.
You have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
The biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you’ll wear to the 4-H Fair.
Birds are attracted to your beard.
Your `huntin dawg’ cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
You think the best way to keep things cold is to leave’em in the shade.
You ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
You ever ate roadkill for dinner.
Your yard contains engine parts to more than one vehicle.
There are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.
Three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.